蜜桃影视

All babies need attention and stimulation. What may be surprising is how little actual instruction they need.

Given that the U.S. is now drenched with advice on how to optimize our children鈥檚 learning, language and lives, parents often feel heavy pressure to see that their kids 鈥� even at a very early age 鈥� are keeping up or even 鈥渆xcelling鈥� (whatever that means for an infant). This can lead to well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful attempts to steer the young child鈥檚 learning.

Observing this overly controlling behavior, even with babies as young as six months, lead researcher Dr. Lucy King, a psychologist specializing in developmental science, to set up a study to observe what factors might influence them to engage in intrusive behavior with their little ones. The study, 鈥�,鈥� published in the journal Developmental Psychology, found that caregivers鈥� goals influence their interactions with their infants and have a direct effect on intrusive, controlling behavior.

鈥淥ver the course of doing lots of observations of parents interacting with their babies in our labs, my colleagues and I observed that some parents engage in overly controlling, intrusive behavior, even with babies as young as 6 months,鈥� King says. 鈥淲e wondered whether that was partly due to a sense of pressure or the need to have their babies perform in a certain way.鈥�

She added, 鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot of rhetoric and advice in our society about how to help your kids develop optimally and a lot of pressure for achievement. We were interested in whether we could induce that (intrusive) behavior in the lab.鈥�

For the experiment, 66 mothers and their 6-month-old infants participated in a 10-minute 鈥渇ree play鈥� interaction, observed in two-minute segments for parental intrusiveness. Before the final segment, mothers were randomly assigned to receive instructions to focus on teaching something to their infants or learning something from them. A control group received no instruction.

Caregiving behaviors that are considered overly controlling are based on the caregiver鈥檚 agenda rather than the child鈥檚 interests and needs. This can look like taking over the focus of the play or task, interrupting the child鈥檚 exploration, or overstimulating the baby. For example, a parent might try to get the baby to understand that the little cup goes inside the big cup and be determined to instill that lesson when the baby is more interested in the cup鈥檚 mouthfeel and how it sounds when whacked on the floor.

The researchers found that manipulating the parents鈥� explicit goals by instructing them to teach their baby significantly increased the degree to which they exhibited intrusive behaviors. Mothers’ intrusiveness decreased when they were instructed to focus on learning something from their infants. Mothers in the control group who received no instructions had no significant change in their degree of intrusiveness.

鈥淚t can be tempting as an adult to interfere and show the child the right way to do something,鈥� King says. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 how we鈥檝e developed as adults, focusing on getting the right information and doing things correctly. But babies are in a completely different stage of life where they鈥檙e just exploring.鈥�

The irony of this push to have the baby master the material is that it can have the opposite effect and shut down the child鈥檚 natural drive to learn and understand. Infants are full of wonder 鈥� they wonder about everything in this world that is so new to them. Their minds are eager, and their brains are elastic. In fact, the researchers write, there is evidence that young children outperform older children and adults on tasks that require cognitive flexibility. Interesting or surprising events cue their brains: There鈥檚 something new to learn here. They thrive on exploration, and when an adult interrupts that process to try and impose a lesson on them, 鈥�No, no. You need to push the button, not lick it,鈥� it鈥檚 not so fun anymore.

鈥淚n my experience of watching a lot of these interactions very carefully 鈥� we鈥檝e videotaped hundreds of them 鈥� if the parent鈥檚 controlling behavior is intense, the child can end up checking out,鈥� King says. 鈥淥r they get distressed and upset because it overwhelms them.鈥�

The researchers鈥� findings extend far beyond the laboratory. As U.S. society experiences greater income inequality, competition increases to make certain one鈥檚 children have the competitive edge to be a success story. Our society emphasizes formal education as a primary way of determining success and even economic survival, making it unsurprising that we expect our caregivers to practice in a manner thought to promote a child鈥檚 early learning, e.g., teaching colors, numbers and social behavior expected in a school setting.

鈥淧ressure on children to perform has continuously increased,鈥� King says, 鈥渁nd we expect children to be learning really quickly at a younger age and reach a desired outcome. It鈥檚 stressful for everybody and parents worry that if they don鈥檛 push their kids to learn, they鈥檙e failing their children somehow.鈥�

Though it wasn鈥檛 the purpose of King鈥檚 study, it might relieve those stressed parents to know that their child is learning every minute of the day, and relaxing and following their lead is not only more fun, it鈥檚 also better for the baby鈥檚 development.

Previous studies have shown that infants and toddlers who experience more intrusive caregiving have been found to have smaller vocabularies, more difficulty solving math problems, and less knowledge of colors, letters and numbers when they reach preschool than children who have been allowed to take the lead in their explorations. Other research has found that families with high socioeconomic status may be especially focused on achievement, which can lead to more intrusive interactions and unintended negative consequences.

Earlier studies focusing on the preschool age have shown that mothers engaged in more controlling interactions with their infants when they were told their child would be tested. Caregivers who were told their child鈥檚 memory would be tested engaged in more adult-centered conversations than caregivers who were told their children would be asked later about their perspective. King鈥檚 study is the first to investigate how directing parents鈥� goals regarding infant learning influences intrusive caregiving behavior.

Dr. Alison Gopnik argues in her 2020 study 鈥�,鈥� published in The Royal Society鈥檚 Biological Sciences journal, that the 鈥渆xtended curious childhood鈥� of primates, in general, and humans, in particular, provides a protected time to extract information from the environment and to explore 鈥渦nlikely hypotheses.鈥�

鈥淓ven very young human children learn by formulating and testing structured causal hypotheses about the world,鈥� Gopnik writes, 鈥渦pdating them in the light of new evidence.鈥� In other words, the baby may look like he鈥檚 just gnawing the triangle from his shape sorter toy, but in reality, he’s exploring its physical dimensions, textures and, yes, maybe even its flavor. If you leave him be or ask him questions, you can bet he鈥檒l develop a theory about it 鈥� Hmm. Not food 鈥� after he鈥檚 tested his unlikely hypotheses.

An essential pathway to this learning-from-baby approach is our old friend , that back-and-forth that transpires between adults and even tiny infants that has been shown to grow the 鈥�white matter鈥� of a child鈥檚 brain.

鈥淚t may be obvious to us as adults that this is how you play with this toy with buttons,鈥� King says. 鈥淭he baby isn鈥檛 at all aware of that purpose. It鈥檚 OK for the adult to reach out and press the button and show the baby, but then take a moment to see what the baby does next with the toy rather than continue to instruct them to push the button.

鈥淢aybe they just want to touch in different ways or pick up the toy and look at it. You can build off whatever the baby does and have fun with that back and forth.鈥�

Sometimes, following the baby鈥檚 lead means noticing that he鈥檚 had it with these buttons and wants to go taste the triangle again. It鈥檚 all about paying attention to their cues.

Of course, King notes, there are times when instruction is essential. For safety鈥檚 sake, children can鈥檛 always lead. And sometimes, they just need to get their socks on so you can get them to child care.

鈥淭he reality is that it鈥檚 just not possible to do this all the time,鈥� King says with a laugh. The good news is that it isn鈥檛 the end of the world if a caregiver sometimes takes control of the conversation.

鈥淭here are endless opportunities to follow their lead,鈥� she says.

This story originally published on Early Learning Nation and is now archived on 蜜桃影视. Learn more here.