蜜桃影视

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For Alyssa Blask Campbell, children鈥檚 behavior is not an isolated phenomenon but a symbiotic, ever-changing system. The former early childhood teacher has built a body of work around emotional development in children, including two books she co-authored 鈥� 鈥淭iny Humans, Big Emotions鈥� and 鈥淏ig Kids, Bigger Feelings鈥� 鈥� that aim to help parents and educators recognize the individualized way that every child takes in, processes and responds to sensory input. 

The word 鈥渄iscipline鈥� barely appears in the books, which invite adults to learn more about what drives a child鈥檚 behavior and to gain a deeper understanding of how the nervous system works. Campbell鈥檚 approach suggests that traditional consequences and rewards used by many parents and educators often address behavior at a surface-level, but lasting change comes from strengthening adult-child connections, fostering emotional security and providing consistent supportive experiences that drive growth. 

Along with one of her co-authors, Lauren Stauble, a colleague she met earlier in her career, Campbell developed a framework called Collaborative Emotion Processing, which helps adults and children navigate emotions together. She described it as “a way to teach and learn how to feel stuff with other people that builds long-term skills for emotional intelligence.鈥� It was designed to help children and their caregivers learn from each other and grow together, she said.

The popularity of her books and the CEP method has led Campbell to develop a number of other resources for caregivers and educators, including an for families and educators, a (which elaborates on the themes in the books) and a professional development for early educators.

In the conversation below, Campbell shares the origin story behind the CEP method and why parents and caregivers need to understand how the nervous system works in order to foster healthy development.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Collaborative Emotion Processing is rooted in understanding what behavior is and what it isn鈥檛. Can you describe the approach?

When we created the CEP method, we designed it to help us understand behavior as communication, really from the nervous system and not reflective of a kid鈥檚 character or a choice that they鈥檙e making in the moment. Folks often see behavior as a choice 鈥� that a child is choosing to be defiant or they鈥檙e choosing to throw something across the room or yell something in the moment. And we aim 鈥� with the CEP method 鈥� to focus on supporting kids through co-regulation, connection and skill building instead of trying to control or correct their behavior in isolation, with timeouts or things like that. And really shifting from “How do we stop the behavior?” to “What is this behavior telling us about what this kid needs right now?”

How did your experience as a teacher give rise to CEP, and is there research to support the approach?

Lauren Stauble and I were both early childhood educators at Lemberg Children’s Center, outside of Boston. She came to me at one point and she was like, “I feel like we鈥檙e doing something different in our classrooms than is happening in the rest of our school.” We started taking videos of one another teaching and interacting with students to see what we were really doing. We didn鈥檛 set out to create the CEP method and then research it. We kind of created a loose framework around what we felt like we were doing, and then set out to find that framework out in the wild. And we found bits and pieces of it in different spaces. Attachment research really informs that relationship space of helping kids feel safe and seen and supported, [and research] in relationship and interpersonal neurobiology helps us understand the brain and the nervous system. But we couldn鈥檛 find anything 鈥� that really encompassed everything we were doing. 

We reached out to Brandeis University 鈥� which our child care program was attached to 鈥� and connected with the psych department there and got to dive in and do the Institutional Review Board process of applying for research and navigating it, which is a beast in and of itself, as it should be. We weren鈥檛 trying to actually dive into research at first. We were just hoping to find a framework that encompassed what we felt like we were doing. In absence of a complete framework, we created the CEP method.

Why do you think the method resonated? What need is it filling for parents and educators?

I think it finally explains what they鈥檝e been experiencing. So many adults are told to manage behavior and just stay consistent and use consequences. And that doesn鈥檛 work for kids who often need the most support. And then we get the frustration, the burnout, the sense of like, 鈥淲hat am I missing? What am I not doing?鈥� I feel like CEP gives them a lens that makes behavior make sense and helps them understand a kid鈥檚 unique nervous system, which helps them see what鈥檚 driving this behavior. And it allows you then to shift your response out of that compliance state into a collaborative state. Recently, I was presenting to a group of parents and educators in Middlebury, Vermont, and afterward, a mom came up to me and she was like, 鈥淚鈥檝e read so many parenting books.鈥� And this is the first one I read where I was like, “Oh, actually now my kid makes sense to me.鈥�

What鈥檚 one thing that can help a parent use the CEP method with their child?

Focus on you. Start with you. Everyone [asks], 鈥淲hat do I do with my kid?鈥� And it鈥檚 why 鈥淭iny Humans鈥� is laid out the way it is, where you鈥檝e got to go through part one of the you stuff and the neuroscience and the why behind it before you get to part two about how to respond to your kid.

What does it look like when kids pick up on behavior modeled by adults? 

I had this little girl when I was teaching pre-K, one of my first years of teaching. She was 3, and this tiny little peanut. And her dad was dropping her off one day and he said, 鈥淗ey, last night she said the F-word to her brother. Do you know where she may have heard that?鈥� And I was like, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not a word we use at school, but did you ask her?鈥� And he was like, 鈥淣o.鈥� 

I called her over and I was like, 鈥淗ey, I heard last night you said the F-word to your brother when you were feeling mad. Where did you hear the F-word?鈥� And she was like, 鈥淲hen daddy drives.鈥� And he was like, “Yep, and goodbye.” What we model is so crucial. It鈥檚 why the CEP method has five components, and four of them are about the adult. When we are modeling this work, when we are showing up with our own self-awareness and self-regulation and empathy and social skills and intrinsic motivation, kids learn from it.

Bren茅 Brown comes up a little bit in your book. She has done such a great service by helping the word “vulnerability” enter the culture. Has her work shaped yours?

I agree. She is my queen. I鈥檝e had the privilege of diving into so much of her work, and I think she has shifted so much for us, with the understanding of vulnerability. The ability to see it as a strength and not a weakness is so crucial for emotional development.

What gives you hope? What are you hearing that should make people feel optimistic?

I am so stoked that we live in a time period when we鈥檙e even talking about emotional intelligence 鈥� It is so cool that we are talking about how nervous systems work. 鈥� The fact that this is part of the zeitgeist gives me so much hope. 

We just got some data back looking at our work in elementary schools, and we鈥檙e seeing a 60% reduction in behavior support calls in the first quarter. 鈥� It gives me hope that when we talk to kids about how their brains and bodies work, they鈥檙e so open, and they鈥檙e so curious, and they鈥檙e so receptive, and they want this. They鈥檙e hungry for it. And now we have the tools, the knowledge, the ability to talk to them. We know how to do that. And I feel really hopeful about that.

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